What was. What is. What will be.
We do not always have a say about what shows up in our lives to experience. We always have a choice in how we experience what shows up.
The experiences and relationships that bloom in our lives —it is our meaning and thought about each one that can and does create the way we see, feel and experience them and our lives.
I have been having a lot of dental appointments. Ones I’d so rather not have. I do need them. Yet, while not really loving the idea and/or experience of them, I am grateful that I have a professional to turn to. Someone who cares and is willing to take on a patient with scleroderma. A patient with a mouth that has been affected with scleroderma is no easy feat. In fact, it can take herculean effort with the challenges and patience necessary.
Since April of 2023, I have had 5 big appointments. The longest in the chair was 6 hours.
The dentist, for me, has been an unsettling; uncomfortable; one of my scariest fears. When I was under age 10, a dentist gave me novocaine through the inside of my cheek. My sister, in the waiting room, said she heard my screaming It was a huge, big ouch and had me fearful of the dentist forever after that visit Then with developing the dis-ease scleroderma, my mouth grew tight and small and that added to the discomfort greatly. One dentist tried to work on my mouth and actually stated he was ‘aborting the procedure’ as my mouth was impossible to work on.
Well, I didn’t like or feel comforted by that trip to the dentist either.
I now am less afraid as I’ve met a Zen dentist who is gentle, caring,
May one or all of your fears be faced with help of the best kind.
Fears can be created in childhood that we hold on to as our brain is meant to help us and keep us safe. Often through trauma, our brain gets over-sensitized and ignites stronger to a similar situation now, today without warrant and/or truth but from preservation of the experience and feels of the situation(s).
May you, with this understanding, talk to yourself, look around at what is now, be there for yourself, as the adult you are, with the tools you have and bowl through a fear that is showing up and that you no longer want to experience. Be there fully in the presence of what is now for You. Walk on. Even if awareness is the one accomplishment that happens.
Good luck.
May you have You.
