"Grow Yourself Complete"

Achy Breaky

As I type the name of this post, I remember the ‘Achy Breaky Heart’ song and dance by Billy Ray Cyrus.  What fun that was!  It was all the hype.  I used to have it in my aerobic classes.  !

And, as it is what came to my mind when I sat here at the computer, ‘achy’ is what I am feeling.

It is a beautiful blue sky day.  There is a gentle breeze and everything looks so alive.  I love it.  I am grateful for it.

It feels like my body is screaming.  I read somewhere that scleroderma can feel like a constant toothache under the skin.  This feels true to me.  It is like my skin is too small for my bones and is constantly being stretched and tightened.  It hurts.

I keep ‘dreaming’ that I will wake up one day and I will be ‘normal’ (whatever that is) again and not be so bogged down with discomfort.  I will once again look beyond this part of me and just know, be and do better.  Today is not this day.

I do know I can love through.  I do know I can be true through.  I do know I connect to all that is here for me to connect to just now.  I do know that I could be so much worse off.  I do know that I could be better off.   I do know that this is what is my ‘cross to bear’.  We all have at least one.

It is our human way.  …  until it is not.

I am grateful for blue skies.  I am grateful for warm temperatures.  I am grateful for love.  I am grateful for loving and caring people.  I am grateful for all that I have learned.

Wherever you are, whatever you are doing, whatever you are feeling, may you see and know gratefulness through any and all of your achy, breaky moments.